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A sweep and a whitewasher were engaged in the same house to work. Before commencing, they take a drink togetherA sweep and a whitewasher were engaged in the same house to work. Before commencing, they take a drink togetherThey separate for the purpose of ascending to their workThey separate for the purpose of ascending to their workFull of fun the sweep has temporarily retired to wait for whitewasher. Arrival of that artist on the roofFull of fun the sweep has temporarily retired to wait for whitewasher. Arrival of that artist on the roofWhitewasher prepares to begin work. The sweep reappears and drops some soot into the whitewashWhitewasher prepares to begin work. The sweep reappears and drops some soot into the whitewashWhitewasher surprised at colour of whitewashWhitewasher surprised at colour of whitewashWhitewasher discovers his tormentor. The sweep smothers him with soot and departsWhitewasher discovers his tormentor. The sweep smothers him with soot and departsWhitewasher is determined to be revenged. He empties whitewash over sweepWhitewasher is determined to be revenged. He empties whitewash over sweepThey both meet downstairs and find their appearances reversedThey both meet downstairs and find their appearances reversed'You can't play here, we want to sit and talk''You can't play here, we want to sit and talk''Take a seat, Mr Huggy''Take a seat, Mr Huggy''Say, Pa, watch that pair''Say, Pa, watch that pair''Trying to hold the door too''Trying to hold the door too''That's your game is it?''That's your game is it?''You dare come here again''You dare come here again''See what you've done, father''See what you've done, father''Will you play tricks again with Amy's lover''Will you play tricks again with Amy's lover'Hurrah, now for a ride!Hurrah, now for a ride!Ah, now I'll show you how to go!There's nothing like the trotWhoa!I can't stand this paceLet's put on the brakesLet's put on the brakesWhat an absurd tailless baboon I've made of myself!Here hangs a taleHush-a-bye, Baby, on the Tree-topHey-diddle-diddle, the Cat and the FiddleLittle Boy BlueLittle Bo-PeepLittle Miss MuffetTom, Tom, the Piper's SonLittle Jack HornerDickery Dickery Dock'Ah! Now Jing-Jing hab some fun''Massa Alligator no catchee Jing-Jing''Dis way Sar''I've got you now Nigger''Oh no! Not yet''Dis nigger guess him got you'The quarry baggedEveryone satisfiedU-Goo-Goo Zulu Lily would decide on neither one of her two suitorsGag-Jag, Jackal-Slayer the rejected, vows vengeanceWhen alone the rivals display annihilative looksGag-Jag interposes. 'Fight a duel' said he'That we will' replied the rivalsGag-Jag lays the dead rivals out in stateSo Gag-Jag comforts U-Goo-Goo'Dat fence is too high an' me wid de rheumatics''I must hab one ob dem chicks''Dis pole will be ob use''I was allers a inwentor''I tought she couldn't resist a roostin place''How is dat fo' high?''De hand ob Providence was in dis!'Ab im de nex time'Ha! He looks good to eat'I'll go for him'Got him!''Down he goes''I say, this isn't so nice''Ow-w-w-w!'The hedgehog jumped out and winkedI'll be more careful next timeAn elephant out for a walk stops to have a drinkAn elephant out for a walk stops to have a drinkWhen a nigger has a shot at himWhen a nigger has a shot at himThe elephant chase's himThe elephant chase's himHe catches him and pulls him by the earHe catches him and pulls him by the earTo the water and gives him a good duckingTo the water and gives him a good duckingHe then carried him to a cactus bushHe then carried him to a cactus bushAnd throws him among the pricklesAnd throws him among the pricklesMoral! Don't interfere with people bigger than yourselfMoral! Don't interfere with people bigger than yourselfOld Mother Hubbard / Went to the cupboard / To get her poor dog a bone; / But when she got there / The cupboard was bare / And so the poor dog got noneShe went to the baker's / To buy him some bread, / And when she came back / Her poor dog was deadShe went to the hatter's / To buy him a hat, / And when she came back / He was feeding the catShe went to the fruiterer's / To buy him some fruit, / And when she came back / He was playing the fluteShe went to the tailor's / To buy him a coat, / And when she came back / He was riding a goatShe went to the cobbler's / To buy him some shoes, / And when she came back / He was reading the newsShe went to the hosier's / To buy him some hose, / And when she came back / He was dressed in his clothesThe dame made a curtsey, / The dog made a bow; / The dame said, 'Your servant,' / The dog said 'Bow, wow'Mr Long and Mr Short go for a walk and sit down to lunchNever dreaming that a tiger was waiting for a mealThey resort to a trick and tip the tub over the tigerAnd luckily for them his tail comes through the bungholeWhich they tie in a knotWhen the tiger suddenly starts for homeTo the relief of Mr Short and Mr LongAfter 12 months absence they return to find every tiger with a tub on its tailA frog he would a wooing goSo off he set with his opera hatWhen they came to the door of Mousey's HallPray Mr Frog will you give us a song?Since you have caught cold, Mr FrogBut while they were all a merry makingThis put Mr Frog in a terrible frightBut as Froggie was crossing over a brookThere was an Old Woman who lived in a ShoeShe had so many children she didn't know what to doShe gave them some BrothWithout any BreadShe whipped them all ...... Well ...And put them ...To BedThe Orang-UtangThe Orang-UtangThe Rhesus MonkeyThe Rhesus MonkeyThe KinkajouThe KinkajouThe ChimpanzeeThe ChimpanzeeThe RavenThe RavenThe Brown BearThe Brown BearThe Laughing JackassThe Laughing JackassLionWalrusMandrillWanderooBrazza's MonkeyBisonBarbary SheepThe Spotted HyaenaThe JackalThe WolfThe CondorThe Eared VultureThe AdjutantThe Great Black-Backed GullThe CrocodileThe BeaverReynard the FoxThe VizcachaThe Prairie-MarmotThe BadgerThe Ard-varkThe Tufted UmbreThe Sea-LionThe SealThe OtterThe CoypuThe HippopotamusThe CormorantThe PenguinThe TurtleThe CheetahThe TigerThe Mountain-ZebraThe Axis DeerThe PacaThe Fallow DeerThe Angel FishThe ThylacineThe LionThe TigerThe LeopardThe PumaThe GiraffeThe Golden EagleThe Polar BearThe Indian RhinocerosThe ArmadilloThe PangolinThe HedgehogThe PorcupineThe GharialThe Moloch LizardThe ElephantThe ShrewThe ElandThe WapitiThe GorillaThe MarmosetThe OstrichThe KiwiThe Aye AyeThe CamelThe SlothThe KangarooThe Secretary BirdThe CobraJack digs a pit to trap the Giant CormoranJack digs a pit to trap the Giant CormoranBlunderbore finds Jack at the wellBlunderbore finds Jack at the wellJack gets the keys of the castle and releases prisonersJack gets the keys of the castle and releases prisonersThe Giant trys to kill Jack in bedThe Giant trys to kill Jack in bedThe Giant trys to kill Jack in bedThe Giant offers Jack some porridgeThe Giant offers Jack some porridgeJack in his invisible coat kills the GiantJack in his invisible coat kills the GiantJack drowns the Giants brotherJack drowns the Giants brotherJack breaks the enchantment of the castleJack breaks the enchantment of the castleMr Brown and his wife are awakened by a mouseMr Brown and his wife are awakened by a mouseThey both start in pursuitThey both start in pursuitWhen the mouse runs into Mr Brown's nightcapWhen the mouse runs into Mr Brown's nightcapGot him now said BrownGot him now said BrownNot quite said the mouseNot quite said the mouseHold on a minute said Mrs BrownHold on a minute said Mrs BrownThere now did you everThere now did you everIn the end mousie wishes them good nightIn the end mousie wishes them good nightThe Queen of Hearts she made some tartsUpon a Summers dayThe Knave of Hearts he stole those tartsAnd with them Ran awayThe King of Hearts called for those tartsAnd beat the Knave full soreThe Knave of Hearts brought back those tartsAnd vowed he'd steal no moreThree boys resolve to have a lark with the approaching masher; they put a large stone into an old hat and leave it on the pavementThe masher decides to kick the hat into the road. 'Excellent chance to show off my football skill'The masher kicks the hat and nearly smashes his toes.- Delight of the boys- N. B.- He decides to let old hats alone in the futureSeeingSmellingTastingHearingFeelingMeetrical MeetingsCat's-meat-CatapultA Full CatalogueCatastropheNotice in the 'Times' -- of --A Strike in the timber trade'Why don't you look where you're going to?'Swe-e-e-ep. Now then, where are you coming toYou did that on purpose, stupidSomething soft below. O-o-o-oh!'Just look at my best silk hat, hardly fit to wear now'And falling into the mortar barrow made him no betterThen things got mixed up worse than everTrying to steal mortar are you? Come along with me'I say Pat, this is a heavy load''Hold on a minute while I grease my hands''Oh my poor corns''Hi, help, murder!'Judson buys a bottle of cement and puts it in his coat tail pocketHe decides to have a rest, so sits downHe falls asleepThe cement had escaped during his sleep'Great Scott!' How is this? I can't get up'A friend in needThe final tugIt was fortunate he had brought his umbrella'Now, just watch me -- the great and only''Stop that growling! Take that --  and that!''Oh, ha, ha, ha! He, He, he!''Look at that, will you? Get out!''Get away from there! Get out!'-- -- -- -- --The Professor: 'I wonder how I could obtain some Spears from the Savages down there. Ah!''I will first attract their attention with this stone.' Tiger: 'They don't seem to be conscious of my presence at all'The Professor: 'Rather an antiquated method of drawing their fire, but it seems to work admirably''Now that they have exhausted their ammunition, it behoves me to act quickly, and really -- ''I hardly anticipated such a valuable addition to my collection. However, Fortune always did favour me'A Bull Dog having strayed into the Studio, Mr Hypo decides to take his PortraitMr Hypo has a little difficulty in arranging the subjectHe instructs him to sit quite still and look as pleasant as possibleMr Hypo proceeds to focus. Ponto does not understand the arrangementPonto changes his position. Mr Hypo also movesPonto master of the situation. N.B. -- Mr Hypo does not now photograph dogs'Tis pleasant to meet one's friendsThe best of friends must part'Pull him along, he'll come''I'll just give him a dab of my brush'And then he cameThe masher and the parrotThe parrot and the masher'The policeman can shout, but I'm not going to stop'The policeman was a gymnast, so he gained his endHere hangs One Leg, admired by Two LegsTwo Legs takes One Leg and sits on Three LegsIn comes Four LegsFour Legs runs away with One LegUp jumps Two LegsPicks up Three LegsTwo Legs throws Three Legs at Four LegsFour Legs drops One Leg'Mary, there's company coming downstairs''Now for the garden'The darling's opportunity'Necessity, the mother of invention'The attack commencedWith results -- astonishing'Good gracious, wife, come quick, something's the matter! where's precious?'Papa: 'Baby, where are you? Tell papa where you are'Mamma: 'Lovey, go and call the neighbours in. It's too sweet for anything'Our old chum was having his morning constitutionalKnowall as a ratepayer and a BritonSo he proceeded to lecture the fellowAnd our friend would have gone onThe other day I went for a swim -- I hate those stuffy bathing machines, so I undressed on the sands [...]But just fancy -- when I came out of the water, I found all my clothes were gone. Wasn't it  amusing? [...]He was a very nice man, as well as having a keen sense of humour, and gave me his hat, overcoat and boots to go home in. [...]I met Miss Trotalong on the front, and couldn't think why she looked so scared when I raised my hat to her. [...]When she turned and fled. 'Hi, half-a-mo, Miss Trotalong,' I said, 'It's me, Charlie Chump.' [...]'There's Tom, and he's got a girl in that box''I knew there was, I'll get a broom''O! I'll give her what for!''Good evening, lassie!'ThirstyIntroducing an old friend in a new guiseCan remain under water indefinitely'Beautiful! Exquisite!''Good heavens! He's wedged fast!''Thanks, Billy, old man'Froggie finds a football'See me do a trick''Eh!''Oh!' says RoleyThe spider and the frog'It is just the thing'I'm sorry for you, but --I must keep up my dignity'Ha! Brer snake''Don't go''So funny'Couldn't see the jokeA warning to frogsJack, being paid off, decides to have a beano. He buys an umbrellaJack, being paid off, decides to have a beano. He buys an umbrellaHe hires a donkey and dismisses the driver till he returnsHe hires a donkey and dismisses the driver till he returnsThe master absent, the donkey takes it easy. He won't stirA simoom springing up, Jack tries to steer his craftA simoom springing up, Jack tries to steer his craftThe donkey not answering it's helm, both are blown out to seaThe donkey not answering it's helm, both are blown out to seaThe sailor was saved, the donkey was drowned. Jack had to pay up much 'backsheesh'The sailor was saved, the donkey was drowned. Jack had to pay up much 'backsheesh'On a sporting tripA terrible opponent'Volleyed and thundered'Afterwards an account appeared in the 'Daily Graphic' headed 'Daring encounter with a lion!'I wonder what they're doingO! I don't like this at allI can't stand itI'm off'Any notepaper, pins, needles, or laces, kind lady?''No, I don't want any. Be off''Hi! You're jamming my foot in the door''Why did you put your foot there? Take that''How dare you force your way into my house?''Don't show your face here again, or I'll give you something'Good EveningIntroduction -- Frolie Grasshopper CircusThis little trick we give you here to show / A right good thing which everyone should knowDon't be afraid! His playfulness denotes / That, fed on grain, he sometimes feels his oatsThis act is harder than the first by far / This noted 'hopper is our leading starNow thro' the hoop he jumps with perfect ease / Life 'Quaker Oats' he never fails to pleaseTo walk a rope and keep a level head / Needs only care and 'Quaker Oats' 'tis saidSome are born greatSome achieve greatnessGreatness thrust on himWhether his Mother Would let him or noSo off he set with his opera hat / And on the road he met with a rat'Pray Mr Rat, will you go with me, / Kind Mrs Mousey for to see?'They Came to the Door of Mousey's Hall, / They gave a loud knock, and a loud call'Pray Mrs Mouse, are you within?' / 'Oh, yes, kind sirs, I'm sitting to spin''Pray Mrs Mouse, will you give us some beer? / For Froggy and I are fond of good cheer''Pray, Mr Frog, will you give us a song? / But let it be something that's not very long''Indeed, Mrs Mouse,' replied the Frog / 'A cold has made me as hoarse as a hog''As you have a Cold Mr Frog,' Mousey said, / 'I'll sing you a song that I have just made'But while they were all a-merry-making / The cat and the Kitten came tumbling inThe cat he seized the rat by the crownThe cat and the kitten pull'd the little mouse downThis put Mr Frog in a terrible fright; / He took up his hat, and he wished them good-nightBut as Froggy was crossing over a brook, / A terrible duck came and gobbled him upSo there was an end of one, two, and three, / The Rat, the Mouse, and the little Frog-gee!
Lucerna ID 9000548

Record created by Richard Crangle. Last updated 14 October 2018

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  Lucerna Magic Lantern Web Resource, lucerna.exeter.ac.uk, item 9000548. Accessed 28 November 2024.

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